I am one of the many parents in the UK who is no longer with the father of their child. Relationships break down every day and there are very often children involved in that. And sadly it is more of a rarity for parents to stay together these days then split up!
I never married the father of my children although I came close, but we were together for 10 years and I was only 17 when we got together. Its a very long time to spend with someone, particularly someone who for a very long time was not very nice to me! I did however have my 2 beautiful children who I wouldnt change for the world and I fight every day to make their current situation normal and make them the best versions of themselves they can be!
When we did split up, I was 27, had a 7 and a 2 year old and honestly thought I would be single forever! Obviously looking for another partner is never top of your list after something like that and I happened to go to the other end of the scale where I became an emotionless human! They just went. No emotions! And because of this, I also became thin! (Im an emotional eater). Now a lack of emotion makes you a bit more ballsy and this led me to join Tinder. My fiancé is one of the first people that I ever matched on Tinder and to be honest talking with him was comfortable from the beginning. He actually ended up being the only person I met off Tinder, but I didnt plan that although it was hilarious seeing and speaking to the characters on there! Neither of us were looking for anything serious (no emotion) and just had a bit of fun for a while, both seeing other people etc. I casually dropped into conversation one day that I had 2 kids and he didnt bat an eyelid! I couldnt believe it. In my mind most men would have run a mile at that point. And thinking back, perhaps that is the point when I started to subconciously think differently about him. We got on so well that I pretty much lived at his when I didn’t have the kids. My stuff was there and I had a key etc. Then one day I made it clear I liked him, like properly, with no one else involved and the rest is history.
Now I was pretty sensible about introducing him to my children. I was aware of the trauma they had been through 16 months before along with being subjected to their fathers new woman and life within 3 months of the breakup!! So I introduced him as my friend initially and as kids are never that stupid, they clicked, but actually got on great with him. My fiance and my son are very similar personalities and have similar likes and interests and my daughter will warm to anyone that pays her enough attention!
It was my children that decided to call him Step Dad. Thats how they would describe him to people at school etc. Maybe its the easiest way but it always makes my heart melt a little when they call him that. Same as it always melts my heart when he refers to them as our kids.
I realise how lucky I am to have found someone like him to take on my kids and treat them as his own, along with his family and realise there are much worse things they could call him 😉
What do your kids call your other half? Am I seriously lucky or does every blended family work like this? Lol