Feeling the pinch

Over the last 3 years I’ve gone from losing loads of weight to slowly and gradually putting it all back on!

That’s happened to me a few times over my life. I was a chubby kid, then I started walking to school and it started to drop off and it stayed off for years because I walked everywhere. Then in my first proper relationship I slowly put weight on, had kids, put more weight on and would fluctuate, but generally I was big for 10 years.

That relationship ended, thank the lord, and I got thin again, hallelujah, but now I’m back to where I was 5 years ago! #goddamnit. I gave up smoking as well so that hasn’t helped! I LOVE food and I’m an emotional eater. And by that I mean any emotion. I eat when I’m sad, I eat when I’m happy, I basically just eat! And I’m lazy so there is minimal exercise.

I eat when I’m sad, I eat when I’m happy, I basically just eat!


Now I have a wedding deadline looming, and that kinda pressure just makes me want to eat chocolate!

I generally don’t moan out loud about my weight very often. It’s no ones problem but my own and I’m the only one who can do anything about it so why bother! My fiance never comments and always makes me feel great but every now and then it really gets me down. Like today, going out for lunch, I would’ve liked to have dressed up a bit for it, but I have nothing fancy to wear. My wardrobe mostly consists of leggings and jeans that still fit me but don’t have any holes in. I put my trusted jeans on this morning and they’re almost uncomfortably tight #ffs. They weren’t this tight 3 weeks ago!!! I’m sure some of you will agree that nothing will make you feel bigger than tight jeans. It’s like the more they squeeze, the angrier I get with myself and to make it worse, I don’t have the money to go out and get any new jeans that do fit me. This leaves only one thing…..lose some weight!

Honestly just the thought of losing weight makes my brain go into eat mode! The second I decide that I’m no longer going to eat chocolate, my brain craves it. Same for any other kind of fun food. Oh and then there’s the fact that eating healthy is not cheap! I’ve thought about cutting out carbs, but what the hell am I supposed to replace them with?! I eat toast for breakfast, a sandwich for lunch and then usually some kind of carb for dinner. No more buttery toast or tuna pasta sounds like absolute hell to me!

So that basically leaves exercise as an option, this does not excite me in the slightest. I know I could get into it once I got myself in the routine, but what exercise do I do? Gym costs money, so that’s out, exercise classes cost money too, so thats also out. What about a personal trainer…Yeah right, like I’m going to want some muscly dude watching over me while I sweat out all the bad stuff. I’m not blessed with a large empty area in my house, with two kids and every room suiting it’s purpose, I barely have room to swing a cat, let alone do a YouTube workout!

Now I do own a bike, so this is an option. I have genuinely thought about cycling to work and back when I don’t have the kids, but it’s a scary notion cycling on the road when I know how annoyed I get with cyclists! Not to mention the weather we have here. My fiancé was a keen cyclist and he tells me that if you don’t mind working in a sticky heat in the mornings and are prepared that after a long hard day at work, you then have to cycle home then you’re good to go.  All of the above just puts me off a little, along with the safety issues on the road, So that pretty much leaves running or walking…

All the gear and no idea

Walking would have to be a massive amount to actually see any benefit, unless I looked like one of them crazy fast walking people, which to me look as if they have all the gear and no idea. Like in between buying the outfit and selecting the route, they’ve forgotten how to walk. So I’ve narrowed it down to running, which I actually hate… for the following reasons… My boobs bounce along with everything else not strapped to my body and I breathe like a rhino in labour, this my friends It’s not pretty or fun. I genuinely don’t understand those that enjoy running! Hats off to you if you do, but I just can’t get on board.

All in all, as you can see, I’ve talked myself out of any exercise or healthy eating! Something I am in fact very good at 😂 I’m off for a creme egg!

Someone please come and wave a magic wand over me and make me thin again…..pretty please 🙏🏻


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